I have read a related post a few days ago: Are 'Difficult' People Really Difficult?
Are they pushing your buttons — or are you doing it to yourself?This evening I have experienced a set of cases where I honestly cannot put the blame neither on somebody else nor on me. Our power is limited and sometimes we have not any more left, to deal properly with a situation that is difficult for us. - I am talking about difficult situations and not about difficult people! The Dalai Lama says - forces should never be used against a creature in general, only against violent actions - see "An eye for an eye".
There’s no question that in most every organization (plus home and anywhere else we spend time), we come face to face with folks who push our buttons, antagonize, frustrate, or otherwise annoy us. People who behave in ways that make us want to scream. They’re commonly referred to as ‘difficult’. Some we simply label irritating; some we label rude and some we label “impossible to work or be with”.
When we are balanced and in good mood we have extra energy to absorb bad mood of others or we can develop compassion to support others while they are suffering.
When our power is exhausting then we are the ones others must absorb.
Difficult people are not difficult themselves in their being. They are just full of sufferings and they need help to get out. Depending on our own sufferings and the power left other people's sufferings can cause excessive demand exceeding our capacities.
And it is not limited to particular people - there are several situations which can cause the same effects described at the beginning.
So you should not think of finding somebody guilty for what happens to you - not you and not others. What you should do: Take care of you!
When you get exhausted because of too much work, few sleep, too many interrupts and so on you will get aggressive (apart from the fact that you will get also ill in the long run)!
Only a rested and fresh person can tackle problems and get things done efficiently!
Saying that I can see being late another time... :-(
Related post: An eye for an eye, Getting older.
2 comments:
I fully agree ... without taking care of self, one cannot take care of others.
I am currently reading an interesting book - Dealing With People You Can't Stand. It says that people come from four places - get things done, get things done "right", seek acceptance, seek appreciation. If we can identify where the other person is coming from, then it becomes easier to deal with them. Since we then know what they want.
I was thinking so far that it is important where people currently are and that they must be fetched from where they currently stand. But your comment gives me the idea, that the "background" is as important as the "foreground".
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